Family

"Well this has got to be a little different for you, eh Becca? You're usually surrounded by people at the start of their lives, full of hope, a future. Us, well, we're at the other end of that," Grandpa sighs. 

"Yeah," I say. "Kind-of a culture shock"

"You can say that again," Caroline pipes up from the back seat. 

We'd just left the retirement home and were on our way to Grandpa and Caroline’s house. My Grandpa's sister and her husband have been at the home for over three years now and every time I visit we make the rounds, visiting all the great aunts and uncles who live in the area. Caroline, my grandpa's wife of three-ish years, has really embraced the family and all the responsibilities that entails. I'm sure it's not easy. My grandpa's four sister's aren't always the easiest to get along with. 

But it's hard not to love them. Especially when the oldest, Alice, seems to be wasting away in front of our eyes. That night at the home, I was just amazed at the bright spark that would shine in her eyes for a moment before becoming dull and lusterless again. And that's how it was for her: She'd have a minute or two of clarity before asking me again who I was. 

It really broke my heart. 

My uncle Harold's doing a bit better. He can communicate better, but he still asks when he can go home and where his truck is, the one his kids sold over three years ago. 

"I can see Tim in you," he tells me. That's my dad. "Howard too," he adds, my dad's brother. 

Maybe when it gets to that point, family is really one of the only things we've got left. 

The next day, when grandpa got off the phone with one of his other sister's he looks at me and says, "Can you believe it, I've lived in the same town as my siblings for this long?" I laugh, trying to imagine it myself. 

"I haven't done that since seventh grade," I say. "You like it?"

He gives me a rueful smile, "Yeah, I spose," he says. "Feels like home. As much of a home as I'm gonna have on this earth."

And all the sudden I get this dull ache in my chest for my own siblings. It's true, I haven't lived in the same area as all of them since 7th grade when my brother first packed his bags for college. 

My brother, sister-in-law and little baby share a house with my sister and her boyfriend right now. 

And as much as I like college life, I yearn for a closeness that my grandpa's had for so long. A closeness to my earthly family, not just by blood, but geographically too. 

It may not happen in this life. 

But one day, geography won't mean much. Family and love will mean everything. And this ache I've got will fade as we come together in a way we've never experienced. And then we'll praise the One who invented family in the first place.

At long last, we will fully know as we are known.

Grateful doesn’t really cover it this time.