Post #4-- Real Creative, I know. Get over it.

Hello again dear faithful followers (ahahaha)
So this semester is very nearly over and I am filled with non of the usual feelings of loss and sadness as another semester of my college experience is done and gone. Don't get me wrong. I am a little appalled by just how quickly college is flying by. But for the first time in maybe forever, I am looking forward to my future more than my present. I recently decided (after a long arduous journey of not being able to decide) what to switch my major to. I was a Digital Media major, and am now soon to be an English Writing major. And I kind of want to kick myself for wasting a year and a half and now having to cram in all the classes I really want to take and mourning over the one's I don't have room for. For those of you who are confused as to why I would switch between these two majors, here's an explanation. I love stories. Stories are the cheese to my macaroni. (Figuratively of course, I'm lactose intolerant). And for my senior project in high school I wrote a play, had it performed and started writing a screenplay. And I fell in love with it. So I thought maybe a Digital Media major would get me into that whole Movie scene. But I soon discovered that I am rotten with technical shit (excuse my french). Seriously. It's bad. And my school does not specialize in one particular aspect of Digital Media. You see my predicament. So finally after a semester worth of praying, crying to my mom on the phone, and general unhappiness, I decided (with the help of my awesome friends) that I needed to switch to English Writing. So I'm really looking forward to next semester when I get to take classes that I'll be interested in, maybe even love (fingers crossed). Not only that, but I'm looking forward to my life, which is not a thing I have really ever experienced before. Fear is my constant companion, and this is one area where I used to be (and to an extant still am) extremely nervous about. Honestly, I used to wish I could just be that thirty year old who still lives in her parents basement. But I guess this is another area that I feel I've grown in. I still don't really have any idea exactly what I want to do when I graduate. But I do know that whatever it is, God's going to be leading me. My dear and loving Father is going to be there and I am so excited to see what he has planned for me.

Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Yes, I know what you all are thinking... "What a sucky blogger, two itty bitty posts and she's done"
I know... It's the same thing I'm thinking.
So here's post number three. You guilted it out of me.
I feel as though I barely know you, my dear readers (I'm perhaps a bit arrogant to add the plural) so here's a bit about myself. I'm a sophomore in college. Boy. That is so odd to say/type. I really don't feel that old. I go to a teeny tiny school in Iowa, but I absolutely love it. What it lacks in scenery and things to do on the weekend it more than makes up in community and friendliness. Not to mention a great Christian atmosphere (cliche, I know, but it's true). I've only been here a year and a half and I feel as though I have grown so much. I figure once I graduate, I probably won't find a place quite like it so I better make the most of it.
So that's sort of my goal these days. Make the most of life. Day by day. I would like to say that I'm succeeding... but it's definitely a struggle.
All too often I let fear win. I've decided that I am disastrously narcissistic. I think about things too much, usually deciding that I am the cause for people's behaviors, resulting in me confronting the person which only ends with me inserting my foot right into my big fat mouth. It's a rather disconcerting cycle. I think I'm getting better, certainly better than high school. But still. If you see a clip in the paper with the headline "Young girl chokes on own foot" you'll know what happened.
Well... I have achieved the length of post that deserves a scroll bar, so I think perhaps I'll end there.
It's been real.
Our interactions have had substance.
Till next time.

One Follower, YAY!

Hey Beth :)

Thanks for being the first to follow this here blogity blog :) 

I'm hitting a rather hard brick wall as what to write next, but I think for this one I'll just post a song that's sort of been my theme for the last couple weeks. As always, hopefully more good stuff on the way. For now, enjoy my good friend Jimmy Eat World. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMQpemMGyQY&feature=BF&list=QL&index=2

Hello World

Confession: I am terrified of starting a blog.
Explanation: The thought of anyone I know reading this sends my stomach running for the nearest toilet to throw itself into. Maybe a slight exaggeration, but you get the idea. I really don't care if total strangers happen upon this. It's another thing entirely for someone who is aware of my existence beyond just my name and email address.
So why am I about to click "Publish Post" in a few moments? Good question. Some of it is because I figure there's a low percentage of people I know who will discover this... At least that's what I keep telling myself. But if I'm truly honest, I see that there's some part of me that wants to be recognized for who I am and what I think. Without all the bull-crap I tend to dish out on a daily basis. Sure I have close friends who get past the mask, but still. There's a piece of me that wants to say what I truly think and feel.
So here it is... Post number one.
Hello World.
(I'm hoping I think of more interesting things to write about in future posts... fingers crossed)