Every once in awhile I think about dying.

It's usually when I'm on a plane, going to the doctor or some other "life-threatening" destination where I consider what it would be like to leave this body behind for awhile and see my God face to face.
I try to imagine life eternal, standing before the king, finally whole.

These thoughts usually bring immense joy and longing followed by a sadness. I always feel a bit guilty for this sadness. Shouldn't I be absolutely giddy at the thought of finally entering my Father's domain? I should long for it with every once of my being, right?

I was having these same thoughts today after going to the clinic, and that feeling crept up on me again. The usual guilt filled me but at that moment there was some clarity.

I don't want to die yet.

I don't want to die because I don't know who I am.

Alright, so theoretically I know who I am. We've covered this, I'm me, a child in the image of my father God Almighty.

But I want to know what I can do, what God can do through me. I want to give something to this world before I leave it. I want to say "Hey world, you suck sometimes, but here's a little gift from me to you. I hope it's made you a little brighter than before".

Who knows though, right?
Who the heck knows our final hour?

I can think of Someone, and I bet you can too.

So if it's in ten minutes, ten years or 52 and half years I'm not gonna complain.

Because regardless of the hour you can bet your sweet bottom I won't be thinking about all the things I didn't get to do here on earth when I'm before the King.

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done. On earth as it is in heaven.
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